Sunday, August 10, 2008

A debt of gratitude.

But at the same time we feel afraid. Surrendering completely to love, be it human or divine, means giving up everything, including our own well-being or our ability to make decisions. It means loving in the deepest sense of the word. The truth is that we didn't want to be in the way God has chosen; we want to keep absolute control over our every step, to be fully conscious of our decisions, to be capable of choosing the object of our devotion.
-Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

I totally agree to what Paulo Coelho wrote. We want to be in control of our emotions. Of who and what to love. Even if we know to ourselves that we are loving, pouring our fullest emotions to the wrong person or situation. I don't need anyone to convince me or tell me that I am doing the wrong thing. I personally know what I am doing and what will be the outcome of this. This is not a win-win situation, so it's not a wise move to stick with this situation. I know I need to use my mind on this, and that's what I am trying to do. Convince, convince, convince myself to do the right thing. I am assessing the situation now, thinking--do I have feelings for him? Or this is just like a debt of gratitude?


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