I don't know.

I am no professional write, or whatsoever. I just want to write what I feel, I want to vent out things inside my mind.

I'm confused with myself. I don't understand what I want, what I want to do. I feel empty inside. I feel alone. I feel scared. I'm sad. People see me now as a happy person. They just don't know how I really feel inside of me. Maybe I'm just bored, can't talk to anyone that's why I feel this way. Sometimes I feel extremely happy, then suddenly I'm feeling sad. I'm not crazy or anything. Mood swings? Maybe. I really don't know, I have no concrete answers for my questions. One reason I'm thinking now why I feel this way is because of pressure. Pressure from my own self. I don't know if you'll consider it desperate, because it feels like I pressure myself much to look for the right guy for me. I know I am still young, also I am not getting any younger. In my stage of life now I should have already set some goals or priorities in life. I try to meet different people in all walks of life, some are old, some are young, some are just the same as my age. I realized something about myself, I am looking for a man who is established. Having a relationship is not all about love. When you're hungry you can't eat love, balance of thinking (being wise) and love is necessary in a relationship. Well that's my point of view. Every guy that I meet will like somewhat slip into my mind thinking is he the one? If I were to count how many times I did it would be endless. I'm not saying all guys that I've met. But some of them that I made a connection with. But up until now I still can't tell if who's the one? I can't stop myself for looking,is he is the one, he is the one? points everywhere. I'm tired of investing in a long relationship that will end after sometime. Been there done that a couple of times. I am telling myself to choose wisely. I tell myself to stop rushing and looking for him. But sometimes I just can't stop myself. To all the girls and guys out there who've met their right one, I'm happy for you. To all those who are still looking the same way as I do, good luck to us.

PS. Is there anyone out there can teach me how to choose the right ones from the wrong ones?